Besides Red Flag, Also Recognize Yellow and Orange Flags in Relationships that Need to be Watched!


The discussion of toxic relationships, aka toxic relationships, has been being discussed more and more recently, seeing from the cases of violence in relationships that are rife. There are things that can be a sign or signal whether a relationship is dangerous or not. This signal is known as a red flag.

The term red flag has recently been heard and used to talk about toxic relationships. Red flags are traits and behaviors of a partner that can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

But apart from the red flag, there are also the terms yellow flag and orange flag in a relationship that you also need to watch out for, you know! Launching from Well and Good, let's see the following explanation!

Yellow Flag

After you and your partner have calmed down, try to have a nice talk with him. Couple illustration/Photo: Freepik/our-team

A yellow flag in a relationship describes something that is likely to be harmless or pose a serious threat to the relationship. The yellow flag is more about the similarities that the couple doesn't have in common.

According to marriage and family therapist, Jacqueline Mendez, the yellow flag is a sign to negotiate in a relationship. For example, you might be someone who really likes Pop music, but your partner likes other genres.

This isn't really a big deal, considering that you might be able to listen to music you both enjoy together, or go to a concert by your favorite musician alone. However, the difference in taste may turn into an orange flag, depending on how you and your partner react to these differences.

Orange Flag

According to Mendez, the orange flag tends to be more about power and control issues. Taking the previous example of musical tastes, the orange flag can be seen when a partner says, "I don't like listening to Pop music in the car. I hate Pop music."

In this case, instead of respecting the other person's tastes, the partner shows a controlling attitude by dictating what can and cannot be done. In addition to personal preferences such as music and movies, the orange flag in relationships can also be found in discussions around religion, children, money, and other things that are usually related to power.

Furthermore, according to marriage and family therapist, Karla Zambrano-Morrison, the orange flag can also be seen in the form when you rarely do things you like to ignore what you believe solely because of your partner. You also tend to prioritize your partner's needs and wants over yourself.

Difference between Red Flag and Orange Flag

So, what is the difference between the red flag and the orange flag? According to Mendez, a red flag means that a person's boundaries are being violated, such as principles, ideas, even physical ones. While the orange flag doesn't necessarily reflect the boundary being violated, there is evidence that it will happen soon.

For example, if your partner tells you that you can't listen to Pop in the car and you think you can listen to it at home, that's an orange flag. While the red flag is more directed to how you communicate about the problem.

For example, if listening to a Pop song in the car causes an argument rather than leading to a productive and healthy conversation or settlement, thus forbidding you to listen to the song anywhere, this could be a red flag.

How to Overcome Red, Orange, and Yellow Flags in a Relationship

Couple fighting Couple illustration/Photo:

Once you are able to identify the red, orange, and yellow flags in a relationship, what can you do?

"Start by tackling red flags, because it's very important to set boundaries first," Mendez says.

Back again to the example of music taste that might be a red flag for you, try to convey it to your partner and observe their reaction. If your partner doesn't want to negotiate, ask yourself if that red flag could be something that ends the relationship.

However, the red flag can turn into an orange flag when the partner is willing to listen and negotiate. Maybe you can listen to Pop songs for a certain duration when you are in the car.

The orange flag can then change to a yellow flag when your partner lets you listen to Pop songs anytime and anywhere, but still tries to respect the fact that the genre isn't their favourite. In this case, you and your partner agree to respect each other's boundaries.

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